I’ve known that I am a perfectionist my whole life. If my name is on something, it must be perfect. I must be perfect.
Hello friends. It’s been awhile since I’ve written and I feel as though I’ve lost a little part of myself.
See, the last post that I made was in November. And while I wish that I could say that this was simply because I have insane writer’s block (which did happen every couple of weeks), I can’t say that’s the absolute truth.
In fact, I have a draft of about 20 posts that are edited and finished sitting on WordPress, waiting to see the light of day. Posts about delicious food from Sevilla, Christmas in New York, and tips for traveling on a small budget.
The thing is, I can’t seem to publish them. They’re not quite done. They’re not perfect.
I’ve known that I am a perfectionist my whole life. If my name is on something, it must be perfect.
I must be perfect.
But life isn’t perfect, and the things we produce cannot be perfect either. We cannot plan for everything and our brains cannot think of every single counter-argument for that thesis we are writing.
Even music isn’t perfect.
And when it is- when a computer can produce the perfect pitches and dynamics and blend of instruments- it’s not real. It’s not authentic.
I want to more like music.
To be authentic.
To be raw and real.
To make some mistakes and not stress.
To make memories and care less.
To let go of the fear of judgement.
To let others critique me and to learn.
To grow and to be me.
I want to be ever changing adapting, new and different every time. I want to retain my true qualities, with little bit of a twist. A little vibrato here and there, some trills added in.
I want to be perfectly imperfect- me.
So as I embark on this new journey, I hope to share more posts with you all- including some of the old posts from 2015 that deserve their time in the spotlight.
Here’s to making 2016 count!
What are your New Year’s resolutions? And how will you make 2016 count?